


To breathe with you

by CrushedRose



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2019-05-05 19:02:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14625072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrushedRose/pseuds/CrushedRose
Summary: For our Mystrade birthday tag on tumblr





	To breathe with you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BrynTWedge](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrynTWedge/gifts).



_ To: Bryntwedge _

_ From: CrushedRose _

_ My dearest Dragon I hope and pray that wherever you are today, that your day be filled with hope and love.  There are many types of love and I hope you experience all of them at least once, a hundred times would also be fine. _

_ I hope you continue to grow into the person you have always dreamt of becoming, I hope that you look back on the past with pride, not for what happened, but for the growth it gave you, for the roots to make you stronger than ever, you cannot fly high without deep roots.  You will lose yourself.  _

_ I hope you see the present for what it is, a present, something given without asking for anything in return, just allowing you to be.   _

_ I hope you look towards the future with hope and faith, knowing that the best is yet to come. _

_ I hope like a dragon you breath fire on those who hurt you, not a fire of destruction but a fire that shows them you are still alive and rose like a phoenix, no matter the burn. The ashes will never consume you. _

_ I hope that if one day I have the honour of meeting you in person, we can stand tall together and meet as old friends with many tales to tell. _

_ Happy birthday. _

 

**Birthdays are more than just days to remember or celebrate the day you came into the world.  It is a day where we remember that for the first time in the history of the universe, never to happen again, your atoms and matter were formed and given life. A moment that waited for you, a moment to create your part in the history of eternity. E. A.R-M**

 

Greg woke up with slight gasp, the frown instant on his face.  His right arm finding its way to his chest on its own accord.

He gave a sharp intake of breath as he moved up to sit.

"Ughfff." Closing his eyes he tried to breathe easier, thankful that Mycroft isn't back yet from his trip. He would go berserk if Greg wakes up with a shortness of breath, or clutching his chest.

Opening his eyes he took his hand away to see if the breathing eased up.

Nope...

Still sore.

"What....?" He tried to figure out what was causing yet.  He didn't eat anything bad, he didn't do heavy exercises and unless someone jumped on his lungs last night while he was sleeping he had no idea what could cause this.

Maybe a heart attack?

He was over fifty, smoker, and drinker (not heavily, but still) had a very stressful job, a stressful future brother-in-law.

No.

The pain wasn't in his right arm, just his lungs.

With effort he got out of bed, not even bothering to make the bed, he didn't have the strength for it.

He took longer than usual to finish his routine for work, he couldn't drink the entire cup of coffee, before feeling unwell and only at half a toast.  He opted for some cereal instead but ended up with one Weetabix, the rest still in the bowl. The milk was nice and cold though.

 

The trip to his work was done with slow precision, he didn't have the energy to drive a bit faster or care about the other people on the road. He just focused on getting to work in one piece.

 

"You look like crap, did you took a round with some weights?" Greg turned to Dimmock who smiled as they walk together through the front doors.

"Fun-ny."

His smile vanished as he realised the level of pain Greg was in.

"Greg, have you been to the doctor?"

Greg shook his head; it took less energy than answering with words.

"You should do, seriously, Greg chest pains are nothing to joke around with. I'll cover for you."

Greg's looked at Dimmock as if he grew a second head. It must be bad if Dimmock willingly offers to help Greg.

"I..ll give...it till lunch, then go." Greg replied his right hand resting under his left arm.  Somehow the pressure helped.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, it feels like...you know when you...had bronchitis or....flu...and your chest…hurt when you cough....." Dimmock nodded.

"Feels like that."

"But it can't be the flu, you were fine yesterday."

"I know..." And that was what was worrying Greg, he didn’t do anything that could cause this. He didn't gym, he didn't have the flu, not even sinus, he didn't fell or pull a muscle and it wasn't really a comfortable feeling.

"Lunch and if you don't go, I will call Dr. Watson." Greg frowned at that. Has John become such a part of his life and his everyday dealings with Sherlock that he immediately is the first person to call?

"Dim..."

"Is that or Mycroft and we both know what he will do." Greg did, luckily he wasn't home so he didn't had that worry, not at the moment.

"Got you there....he is out of town."

"I will leave a message. I'm serious Greg; this isn't something to play with."

"I will go, promise."

That seemed to calm him down and they both went into their respective offices, ready to start the day.

 

By lunch Greg didn't feel much better, the pain still strong in his chest, especially if he bend down or stand up too quick. He was able to hide it as much as possible but just before lunch he had to go to the bathroom, where he met Dimmock.

"Are you...stalking...me Dim?"

"Today, yes. You still have pain, talking is an effort."

Greg nodded.

"Have you made an appointment?"

Greg shook his head.

"No, but...I will go, as...promised to the nearest clinic."

"You will?"

"Yes."

"Okay, let me know okay?" Greg nodded and left the bathroom. He and Dimmock had reached some kind of understanding or kinship for the past few years.  Then again, in this line, everyone become brothers or cousins, some sort of family after a while.

 

\-----

 

As promised he made his way to the nearest clinic, hardly two blocks away.  It was not as busy as usual but this wasn't the rush-hour and most kids are still at school.  He walked to the reception desk. The women smiled at him holding a clip board.

"Good afternoon, can I help you?"

"I want to...see a doctor please...struggling to breathe..." He answered in shirt and shallow breaths, deep breaths were hurting him.

"Oh, please fill in this form and I will quickly see if I can squeeze in with Dr. Clemons after his current patient." She answered handing him a clipboard with forms and a pen tied to the board with a string.  Seems even sick people either steal pens or lose them.

"Thank you." Sitting back down he quickly filled in his details as quickly and thoroughly as possible.  What he didn't tell Dimmock back at the Yard was that the pain was escalating, he could feel the left side of his neck constricting, as well as his left arm. His fear of a heart attack was back, but then again, he struggled to breath for a few hours and no doubt his muscles were cramping up from his shallow breathing and tense torso.

 

A few minutes later the women came back taking the clipboard with his details.

"Mr...aoh sorry Detective Lestrade, Dr Clemons will be with you in five minutes. I'll quickly enter your details into our system."

"Thank you, again." Greg answered back, giving her a tense smile.  She didn't mind as she went back to the desk and started capturing all his details.

 

Sure enough five minutes later Greg ushered back towards the doctor's rooms.

Dr. Clemons was a tall and broad shouldered doctor, with grey hair and easy smile.

"Detective Lestrade, how can I help? My assistant tells me you are struggling to breathe?"

Greg nodded.

"Yeah, woke up...with this pain in my...chest...like muscle spasm...but didn't...exercise."

"Okay, well it is not a stroke, but it is in concern, can you please lay here on the bed?" Greg made his way to the bed and slowly climbed on top.  The doctor out a small device on a wire and hooked it on Greg's middle finger.

"This measures the oxygen levels in your body....okay that is normal, let's take your blood pressure." The doctor went through his routine.

"A bit high...your pulse is the most concern at the moment, it is extremely high.  You're not having a heart attack, your oxygen levels are fine. The only thing I can think of is that you are having some sort of anxiety attack."

Greg stared, if he had the energy he would've laughed. An anxiety attack? He must be joking. "Are you sure?" He tried instead.

"Yes, you have all the symptoms, then again the symptoms are different with every person, but the heart rate is a dead give-away, I'm going to give you a relaxing agent that would calm you down. In the meantime I want you to place these two tablets under your tongue, while I get the syringe ready." Greg watch with fascination and something akin to surprise as the doctor gave him two small two tablets to place under his tongue and then turned around to open a drawer with the syringes and small vails.

An anxiety attack?

Anxiety?

Attack?

Seriously.....

It can't be.

He doesn't get anxiety attack; he has never had anxiety in his life. Nervousness, yes...stress...hell yes.

"I've never had any problems with anxiety." Greg voiced his inner turmoil.

"Yes, well, these things have a way to make oneself known after many years of lying dormant."

Greg frowned, not so sure what to make of it.

"Okay, if you can turn around and open your trousers please?" Greg got up and turned around as instructed. Bending slightly he closed his eyes as the doctor swiped a piece of skins before plunging the needle in.

"Okay, I want you to lie here for a while, about twenty minutes and then I will come back and check on you."

Greg jus nodded and fixed his trousers as the doctor wrote down a few thing and left. With not much else to do, Greg made himself comfortable on the small and hard bed. He lay on his side, his arm holding tight on his chest.

Closing his eyes he could only try to make sense of the day and what it meant.  He should call Mycroft or at least text him but what should he say, that he somehow managed to get his first ever anxiety attack on the other side of fifty.

"Ha..." He tried to laugh but it hurt. Off all the things, not a heart attack, or cholesterol, anxiety....Sherlock would have a field day with this.  Does this mean he would have to start taking anxiety medication? Not worrying about it now, he tried to relax.

 

Twenty minutes later the door opened and the doctor came back in, Greg slowly sat up straight and let his feet hang off the end.

"How are you feeling?"

"A bit better."

"And the pain, breathing?"

"Less and easier."

"That’s good, I'm going to prescribe you some medicine, I want you to take one tonight, then one every night for the next two weeks, off there's any change I want to see you again."

"Okay, thank you." Greg had no plans about actually getting the medicine, but then again, he might have to if this is his future.

"Let me just take your pulse again."

Greg held out his hand for the doctor to take his pulse again.

The doctor frowned and Greg knew deep down that this was just the beginning, of what he didn't know.

"That’s not a good look Doc."

"Your pulse is still high, too high with the medication I gave you."

"What does this mean?" Greg asked.

“It means that I want to see you again, tomorrow.”

“What?” 

“I’m going to give you note, I don’t want you to go back to work for the rest of the day, and then I want to see you again tomorrow morning, let’s say at nine and we will take it from there, I will also prescribe some meds that should calm your heart down.” 

Greg didn’t like this at all, and by the time he left, he had a relaxing tablet that should take twice daily, luckily non-addictive, a tablet that he should take before bed, to ensure proper rest, and pill to calm his heartrate down.   He called it in, and then made his way home. He was feeling tired and didn’t mind so much, at least he could go and climb back into bed. His chest still hurt, but that could mean that the muscles were tense after the whole day of constricting. 

 

\-----

 

Greg woke to the sound of his phone ringing, he fell asleep on the bed, the plan was to read, but it clearly didn’t work as he realised half the day was gone.

“Hello Love.”  

Greg greeted very glad to hear from Mycroft. 

“Good evening my dearest, how are you?”

That was all he needed, the soothing voice of the man he loved. 

“I miss you something fierce.” 

“Me too.  How was your day?”

This is it, should he tell him, or not…

“Interesting, I apparently had my first ever anxiety attack today?”  Greg opted for the truth. 

“Excuse me, did I hear correctly? Did you say anxiety attack?  Oh God, what did Sherlock do?” 

Greg laughed softly. 

“It wasn’t him, I’m not sure what caused it, but I woke up, with a persistent and terrible pain in my chest this morning, almost like I spent the better part of a week coughing my lungs out. Went to the doctor and he said I had an anxiety attack.” 

The line was quiet. Greg wondered if Mycroft heard or were the line cut. 

“Love?”

“Tell me everything.”  Mycroft replied in a dead serious tone.  So Greg did. 

He told him about the pain, the shortness of breath, the low energy and tiredness, he told him about the injection he got, the worry of the doctor about his heartrate, about the new medication he was prescribed and even had to give Mycroft the names of the medicines. 

“And you are feeling better now?” 

“Yeah, my chest still hurt but it’s probably the muscles now.”

“Probably, and you need to see Dr. Clemons again tomorrow?” 

“Yes, at nine, depending on the outcome, I have no idea if he will send me home again or allow me to go back to work.”

“I see, and have you taken your meds yet?” 

“No, I came home with the idea to take it easy and read a bit but fell asleep.” 

“I’m sorry to have woken you.”

“Oh no, I’m glad you did, I miss you so much, and really can’t wait till you come home.”  Greg really missed having Mycroft with him, the softness of his voice, the tenderness of his gaze, the safety of his arms, it was everything he ever wanted and feels a bit empty without it and without the physicality of Mycroft next to him. 

“Believe me Gregory, I’m counting the hours and days myself.”

“I believe you, is everything going according to plan and schedule there with you?”

“Oh yes, I am making great progress.”

“Then I am very happy and glad to hear it.  You must tell Anthea I say hi, and not to get used to the idea of having you all to herself like the old days.”  Greg joked with a smile and he could hear Mycroft laughing softly on the other side. They were far apart, yet it felt as if Mycroft was there next to him, he could see the love in Mycroft’s eyes, the secret pleasure that he was wanted and loved. 

“I will tell her.”  Mycroft replied glad that he was shared instead of being tolerated by one person alone.  He really needed to get home, to hold Greg again and to feel loved. 

The continued to talk for another few minutes, making plans about what to do when Mycroft is home, abut small things that had happened in their daily lives, people they’ve met and just about any and everything. 

They said their goodbyes with longing for one another, with touch craved hearts and hands, arms that feels empty and eyes that seek one another through the line.

Greg sat for a long while with the phone in his hand and the screen open on a picture of them.  Smiling he put the phone down and went to take a shower before getting back into bed. 

\----

 

At nine sharp the next morning Greg was at the doctor’s office, ready to get checked out, he wanted this over and done with and move on.  He took the heart medicine but not the sleeping aid or relaxing aid that would help him sleep. He didn’t really have a problem with sleeping anyway. 

“Okay Detective, let’s see what we have okay? How do you feel overall?” 

“Much better, my chest still hurt if I take deep breaths and ran out of breath with any activity, like dressing quickly or so.”

“It’s understandable, your body needs to relax after the attack and just settle back in, let’s check your heartrate first. 

“Still high…it doesn’t make sense. It is not dangerously high and nothing like yesterday but with the medication I gave you, it should have dropped quite significantly.”  Greg didn’t like hearing that, what is he supposed to do with information like that. 

“What does this mean exactly?”  He asked straightforward. 

“It means that I want to do more test and do an EKG as soon as possible, the clinic’s nurse is currently not here so I want you to come tomorrow morning again, first thing.  I’m not sending you to work today, nor tomorrow, my first concern is figuring out why your heartrate is so high.” 

Another day off work? It is not as if he minds to be honest, but he would rather be at home when Mycroft was there, than being there alone. 

“Right, tomorrow an EKG…”  Greg said, not really looking forward to it at all.  The doctor nodded with a shrug, understanding the lack of enthusiasm. 

“Detective go and rest these two days, I’m sure we have nothing to worry about.” 

“Yeah, sure, thanks Doc.”  Greg greeted before making his way back out of the clinic to go home. An EKG measures the heartrates if he wasn’t mistaken, or pulse, or rhythms, something with the heart, he know that much.  And heart that is related to a big can of troubles, he wasn’t sure he wanted to deal with. He should send a text to Mycroft, telling him what happened, he asked last night, but Greg thought he would wait till he gets home.

 

The moment Greg stepped into the house there was something different, something that changed the atmosphere.  He closed his eyes and smiled. 

“You’re home.”  He said into to air.

“Yes.”  A voice came from his right, higher up.  Opening his eyes he looked up to see Mycroft walking down the stairs towards him.  Greg face lit up and he forgot all about his worries as he made his way up to meet Mycroft.  Mycroft saw the reaction, the look in Greg’s eyes, the love and tenderness replacing the worry and uncertainty.  He loved this man, much more than he ever thought possible. 

“Oh Gregory.”  Mycroft pulled Greg into a tight hug, holding him as close as possible, breathing in his scent, reacquainting him with Greg’s posture, his texture, the softness of his hair against his cheek, the heaviness of his arms around his chest as he hold onto him.  

“I am….so glad to see you back.”  Mycroft could only agree, these past few days without him had been terrible. 

“How are you feeling? What did the doctor say?”

Greg slowly released his arms to look at Mycroft, both slowly making their way to the kitchen, some tea would be lovely right about now.

“My heartrate is still too high for normal; he wants me to go for an EKG tomorrow.  Everything else looks okay and normal, I’m just not happy about all the new meds I have to take.” 

“He gave you medication for anxiety?”

“Yup. It is so strange Love, I don’t suffer from anxiety, never had, why on earth would I get an anxiety attack in my fifties?” 

Mycroft had been wondering the exact same thing he went over it in his mind so many times and he still didn’t had an answer or possible outcome for why now all of a sudden.  Greg was right, he was never anxious, not even secretly so there is no way it was lying dormant all these years. He would know; he has suffered from some form of anxiety his entire life and knew the symptoms and the tell-tales. Gregory had none. 

“I don’t know Gregory, I must admit, it is a bit of a conundrum for me as well.  May I go with you to the EKG tomorrow?”

“Really?  I would love for you to be there, I would feel better about the whole thing myself knowing you are there.”

“I was only scheduled to come back at the end of the week, so I do have a few days I can be here with you.  Usually I would go back in, but now that I have you, I don’t see why I should, I think I should every break that I can get to be here with you.”  

Greg stopped making the tea to look at Mycroft, so many emotions on his face, Mycroft, the workaholic was taking breaks or using the off time to be with him, he never did that with anyone.  Mycroft looked at Greg, his face open as well. He stepped closer to Greg and kissed his cheek. 

“I can’t seem to be away from you for long periods, my longing for you becomes unbearable with every passing day, besides we will get married soon, and then I will try to be even more here with you than at work.” 

Greg held him close.

“I missed you, so damn much, if I didn’t know any better I would say it was withdrawal symptoms I was feeling.” 

Mycroft choked out a burst of laughter Greg followed with his own.

“Are you trying to make light of the situation again?”

“Yeah…sorry.”

They stood there for a while both getting hungry and the kettle finished booking yet they didn't let go.  Only when Mycroft’s stomach growled to Greg's delight and Mycroft’s embarrassment they let go. 

"I’m sorry."

"For being hungry? Don't be Love, let's make tea and see what there is to eat."

"I haven't eaten in the last twelve hours or so, my first priority was coming back to you.”

"Thanks Love, I appreciate it besides I'm sure it is nothing to be anxious about." Greg tried making a slight joke.

"Gregory..."

"Too soon?" Mycroft just gave him a look. 

"Yeah....okay too soon, anyway anxiety is nothing to joke about, not I was...I just wanted to lighten the situation a bit."

"I know. It's okay." 

They worked in silence making tea and eating a small yet wonderful brunch of omelettes and cheese.  When they were done they made their way to the living room comfortable on the sofa just being together. 

5hey talked and stayed quiet, their fingers talking as it caressed each other’s arms, massaging a scalp, playing with the curl or smiling at one another. 

Greg made the first move as he leaned over to kiss Mycroft, he missed the mouth for several days, the small contented moans Mycroft made and the clawing he did on Greg’s shoulders or lower back. 

"I missed this..." He whispered between kisses. 

"Me too." Mycroft replied and took another kiss. 

The kisses grew heated with every moment and Greg was struggling to breathe more and more. 

"Aagh..." Greg groaned and pulled away, his hand grabbing his chest again. Mycroft froze.  

"Gregory! What is it?"

Gregor face contorted in pain. 

"I’m...I think I'm having another attack." He groaned with confusion and shock.

"What? From kissing?” Mycroft asked just as dumbfounded as Greg.

"I. Don’t...My....I don't I'm having a...nxie...some...thing...else...wrong."

"What do i need to do?" Mycroft asked the panic clear.

"My pills...under the tongue....small white...wallet..." Mycroft helped Greg to sit upright while he rushed to get the tablets.  Running back he help Greg to place it under his tongue, still clutching his chest with one arm.

"Im taking you to the emergency." Mycroft declared and pulled out his phone. Greg didn’t even tried to stop him, in itself that said a lot as he watched Mycroft making arrangements for a doctor to meet them, Mycroft is bringing in his own team. He wanted to calm Mycroft down, to tell him everything will be okay, but he wasn't sure, this didn't feel like an anxiety attack, but he wouldn't know, he never had one, he never had chest pains, he never had an heart attack, so he had no idea what each is supposed to feel like. 

He caught Mycroft's eye and would forever swear he felt another pull in his chest, Mycroft looked worried; he looked pained and very close to crying. 

Greg tried to smile to ease his mind but it didn't work. He kept staring hoping that Mycroft would still be able to see the reassurance Greg tried to offer, as little as it may be. 

"They will meet us there."  

"Okay." Greg tried and slowly stood up, struggling and battling, until Mycroft reached his arms underneath Greg’s and helped him up.

"Thank...you." 

"Gregory, please don’t worry, I just..." He wanted to help and he wanted to solve this but he couldn't he didn't know how.  He never wanted to see Gregory like this, it short circuits his brain, and it makes his deduction to freeze up. He wasn’t used to this; he wasn’t use to the rush of emotions, the rush of worry and concern to see Greg struggle for his breath like this.  It wasn’t some OD, that was caused by himself, no, this was caused by somebody trying to harm his family, no this was his family being hurt by something inside. Something he didn’t foresee, nor could stop. 

They slowly made their way to the car, Greg leaning heavily on the Mycroft. 

“So…rry…inconve….ience..”

“Gregory, you couldn’t inconvenience me even if you tried.” 

“Oooh… chall…enge…acc…epted.” 

“Shush, and save your breath.”

Once inside Mycroft strapped Greg in and sat in the driver’s seat.

“Better hold on.”

Greg didn’t even had time to reply as Mycroft stepped down on the pedal and with spinning wheels the car sped down the road, two black stains on the pavement, rubber scorched into the cement.

 

They made it to the hospital in record time; Greg looked around and didn’t recognise the building. 

“My….”

“It is a private facility, especially for discretion and secrecy.”  Mycroft replied and walked to the other side and helped Greg out. They climbed out and made their way inside, the room was open and loaded with the latest technology and equipment.

“Mr. Holmes.”

“Dr. Tribeca thank you for meeting me, this is Detective Gregory Lestrade of Scotland Yard, and my fiancé.” 

Greg would stare in wonder and amazement if he wasn’t in so much pain. 

“Detective, I’m Dr. Tribeca, according to your health history, you presented with chest pains, Dr. Clemons suggested it was an anxiety attack, adequate with the lack of equipment and information he had at the time. He has given you relaxants and requested an EKG for your heart, we will get started with that immediately and I order a full spectrum of blood works, thereafter we will do a set of x-rays, and take it from there.” He turned to two nurses.

“Let’s get going.”  Greg didn’t even had time to respond or say ‘Hi’ when he was surrounded and a needle was in his arm. Dr Tribeca was listening to his heart and chest with the stethoscope, a small oxygen mask was placed on his nose supplying him with oxygen.  He felt better instantly but was very worried. 

Mycroft watched as they stuck small stickers on Greg’s chest for the EKG.  He watched the whole procedure as they did their thing. He trusted Dr. Tribeca and knew Greg would be in safe hands.  He took a risk to bring Greg here, but he didn’t care, they weren’t maybe the closest colleagues who share Secret Santa or have a carpool system, or baby showers for the office clerk, but they do have a mutual respect, and that is Greg’s best change. 

Twenty minutes later the Greg was back from the x-ray and feeling much better. 

“Hey, EKG was clean as well as the x-ray’s, my oxygen levels is fine, but my heartrate is still too high.  I’m stumped but I do like the bed, it is actually very comfortable.” 

Mycroft took Greg’s hand and sit down next to the bed. 

“It is specially designed for comfort and efficiency.” 

“Have you ever been in one?”  Greg asked. Mycroft looked away. 

“My…”

“A few times, not long though, and I can’t really talk about it.”

Greg squeezed Mycroft’s hand.

“I know its fine.  For what it is worth, I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you, as you are here with me.”

“You were…maybe not physically but after we got involved, you were there, in my mind and heart.” 

“Have you been here a lot since we got together?” 

“No, twice.”  Mycroft answered. 

They watched together as the doctor came back. 

“Detective, I’m sorry we will admit you immediately.  You are not allowed to leave this bed at all, no mobile movements are allowed except for moving your arms to drink or eat. We will give you a catheter in the next few minutes and while they prepare your room, you will undergo a CAT scan immediately.”

Both Greg and Mycroft stared at the doctor.  This is happening why too fast. 

“What?”  Greg managed out.

“Doctor Tribeca, what is going on?”  

The doctor looked up Mycroft. 

“We need to move fast, the blood came back...” he turned to Greg.

“Your blood is extremely thick, we are treating you for pulmonary embolisms, the x-rays were clean, and that is why we are giving you a CAT scan to determine the exact positions and gravity of the embolisms. Depending on the size, surgery may be needed, otherwise just medication, but you are under no circumstances to move at all.”

Mycroft was pale; his hands were clutching Greg’s like a lifeline. Pulmonary embolism…oh God…

“That is blood clots right?” Greg asked softly. 

The doctor nodded. 

“And it is in my lungs.” 

“Yes, the blockage is causing an extra weight of energy and work on your heart, to work harder, which is why your heartrate is so high.” 

“And I will have a catheter, and maybe surgery?”

“Yes, Nurse McNeill will administer the catheter and then we will take you up to the CAT scan.  Detective, I don’t want to play the grim reaper but you need to know, if Mr. Holmes didn’t bring you to us, or he waited another hour, there is a real change you could’ve died.”   With a nod the doctor left to make more arrangements. Greg slowly turned and looked up at Mycroft. 

“My…it will be all right…”

Mycroft just nodded and pulled Greg close into a hug.  Greg clung to him just as tight, it was real serious. He was almost dead, could still die if he moved.  The nurse cleared her throat and gave them a weak smile as she held out the tray with the catheter. 

“I’m sorry, I need to put this in as quickly as possible, and we will also give you an IV line and start you on blood thinners.” 

“Can Mycroft stay?”  

“Of course.”  Mycroft stood up and moved a bit up so the nurse could work.  Greg was without his trousers and underpants in a few seconds, his shirt was gone too, in a minute he was completely naked with a blanket over him, except a bit lower.  Greg looked at Mycroft and would clinch and hold his breath as the nurse inserted the tube. 

“Oooh, that…is…ouch…”

“I’m sorry, there all done.” The nurse replied and covered him with the blanket.

“Does the burning sensation go away?”

The nurse looked at him with a sympathetic smile.

“No.”

Ten minutes later they wheeled Greg up to the CAT scan, Mycroft couldn’t follow so he used the time to arrange for more time off, and for Anthea to bring Greg clothes and toiletries for the next few days.  For him as well, he wasn’t going to leave anytime soon. 

He was tired and worried and needed something to do, but there wasn’t anything he could do but to wait and hope. 

 

By ten that evening Greg was tired, he had a catheter, an IV line and have been given a good dose of blood thinners, one through the IV and two injections into his navel, that burnt.  Mycroft hasn’t left his side and right now both was laying on the bed, Mycroft managed to be on the edge, curling around Greg and Greg holding him tight. 

“They said they will need to do leg sonar on my legs to see if the clots started in my legs, but because I had no pain or cramps it wasn’t likely.” 

“I heard.  Sometimes these things just happen; there isn’t always a reason why. There are so many factors. Hereditary, certain medicines, we might never know how it happened.  I’m just glad I was able to help.”

“Me too, that you came home early, that you brought me when you did…I had close encounters before in my life, but they were always half expected you know, it came with the job…and so forth, this…I don’t know about this.”   

Greg said, his mind still trying to cope with the fact that he almost died, that he was bed bound for the next few days that he was on blood thinners and would most likely be for the next six months.  That they will do regular blood tests to test his INR and depending on his medication, he might have to monitor it very closely. He knew warfarin needed constant supervision and close tracking but there are blood thinners on the market who did it for you. 

It could’ve been so different it wasn’t for Mycroft and his quick response. He turned his head to look at the man in his arms, the man who was and still is worried sick. 

“I love you and will forever be grateful that you were there for me and for handling it so quick and calm.”

“I wasn’t calm Gregory, I was frightened, terrified, seeing you struggling for every breath broke pieces of me, I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know how to handle it, I didn’t know how, and I still don’t on how to make it better, how to make you better.”  He looked at Greg and Greg could see the redness, the pools of unshed tears. 

“Oh Love.”  Greg wiped Mycroft’s eyes just as the first tear fell. 

“I can’t lose you, I came so close it wasn’t because of our jobs, it was something natural, and I want to marry you, I imagined you in your suit, and the ring I will put on your finger and I almost didn’t, I almost lost that changed, for good. I don’t, I don’t think I can cope with you gone, not as a human anyhow.”  Greg didn’t stop the tear that fell from his eyes either. They must have looked like quite a sight, two grown men, curled up in bed crying. 

“I love you, and you won’t lose me, we came close, but we didn’t, and there is a road ahead that will be hard, but we have always pulled through and gave it our all, we will do it again, we will make it through and I will stand in my tux and we will exchange rings, and I will snog the sense out of you in front of everyone, your whole family, you will blush and your lips will be swollen from the kiss, but it will be okay, because you will be mine, and I yours and nothing, not our jobs nor my blood will stop that, you know why?”

“No…”

“Because my desire to breathe with you is much stronger than the thickness of my blood, or the pain in my chest, or the demands of our jobs. To breathe with you keeps me alive, keeps me hoping and it keeps my fighting.” 

 

**Epilogue**

 

Greg spent an entire week in hospital, they never did discover the cause of his clots, he was on blood thinners for six months, his diet was adapted as certain foods counteracted the medications, he wasn’t allowed to exercise extensively as he used to.  

 

Six months later he did stand in his tux in front of his friends and family, healthy and strong.

Mycroft did see him in his tux, he did put a ring on his finger and as promised Greg did kiss the sense out of him to the loud cheer of witnesses, he did blushed furiously as his eyes caught his parents and brother, his lips were swollen from the kiss, but that is okay, because he kissed Gregory just as hard back.  For that moment in the kiss they shared their breaths, and as the inscriptions on their rings would testify:  _ ‘to breathe with you, keeps me alive.’ _

**Author's Note:**

> I used my own experience with blood clots and how it was discovered in me. I'm still on warfarin, still diet restricted and still having blood tests once a week. Some things have been changed in the sense that I on't have a Mycroft....;)


End file.
